Take the test, by Emily.

Hee. Look what I got...

Is it strange that I'm only 20, and yet, I feel old? Does anyone else feel this way? I never really felt old before, until Bond and KiKi moved in.

My best friend Laney and I have been roommates for a year. We graduated together three years ago, but we only started living together last year. She took a year off of school, while I left right after grade twelve to go to college. I fucked around and finally dropped out of my program (what the hell was I gonna do with a BA in English, anyway?), and moved to Ontario with my family, while she was starting her first year. I did some thinking while I was working day in and day out at KFC (the only place that would hire my inexperienced ass), sweating my tits off and dealing with rude, ungrateful customers for less than minimum wage, and I decided that I'd better get my shit together, or a career in the fast food industry was going to be my cause of death.

So, I applied for the Bachelor of Fine Arts program (which I've since switched from to get a BA in Psych, much to the chagrin of Mo and Po), scraped up some funds, and got the feck out of Ass Crack, Ontario. That was last year. Laney and I got a place on campus with two other girls, and it was fantastic. Seriously, we were the one house on our block where everyone in the house got along, all the time. Not a single fight amongst us. I know. Weird.

Unfortunately, my old roommates finished their programs last year, and thus Laney and I have had two newbies forced upon us. First years. Now, don't get me wrong. Bond and KiKi (who are best friends from high school, as well) are incredibly nice, cool girls. But the fact of the matter is they're EIGHTEEN. Barely. They've never lived on their own before, and seemingly, they never had to do a damn thing while they were living at home. Cuz, dishes? Totally new concept. Putting food back in the fridge when you're done, instead of leaving milk to rot on the counter? The fuck? NOT leaving shit at your ass all over the house? What are you talking about, Willis? Hee, if you watch "Scrubs", you'll get that.

I'm totally starting to feel like a mom. I can't help it. Almost every day, I find myself cleaning up after them. Oh, and having to come out of my room in a robe at three in the morning when they've come back from the bar (on a MONDAY, might I add) and tell them to keep it down, or shut. the. fuck. up. cuz they are squealing and giggling like twinkies? Not. Pretty. Hey kids, some people have class at 8.

I hate this. I hate feeling old. I hate constantly being reminded that with every day that goes by, I'm a step closer to being done school, and thus, officially, a grown up. I don't want to think about getting married (You hear that, DAD?) or having kids. I don't want think about starting a career. Hell, I'm still convinced that I'm gonna turn out to be a rock star, and that this whole "school" thing is just my back-up plan. I'm a Toys'R'Us kid! I wanna be Sydney Bristow for Halloween so I can go and buy walkie talkies and fake spy gear!

I hate knowing that I'm passed the "Let's-go-out-and-get-drunk-on-a-Tuesday-because-we-don't-live-with-our-folks-anymore-WHOOO!" phase, and I'm not gonna feel that rush of independence anymore. I don't move home for the summer, so that's it. I'm done and out of the house. I'm pretty much completely independent. Which, I'm proud of, but it kinda makes me sad. Living with Bond and KiKi has made me realize that I miss my parents more than I care to admit to anyone. I'm still growing. In a lot of ways, I guess I'm still very much my daddy's little girl, and if I feel that way at twenty, I can't imagine how Bond and KiKi must feel, being newly independent themselves. Huh. Maybe, I'll start being a little less hard on them.

I'm gonna go call my fam.

Miss Black

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Miss Black also contributes to a David Anders/Sark site under the name Chaton Espion. Feel free to visit her there if you'd like to witness the terrifying depths of obsession.