Dear god. I went grocery shopping tonight and I ran into none other than Cute Grocery Boy, who I shall now refer to as "Michael", just for simplicity's sake. He was very friendly again, with a big smile and a cute "Hello" as I passed him in the soup aisle. I gave him my biggest "kitty smile" as Laney calls it, although I have no idea what that means. He's much hotter then I remember.

Anyway, Laney and I finished our shopping, and we made our way to the checkout. We pushed our cart into lane seven, and Laney began loading her purchases on the little conveyor belt. I remembered that I needed bread, so I ran off to the bakery section. When I returned, I saw that the short, pimply-faced redhead that had been there previously had vanished, and Michael was running our items through instead. Cue girlish blush.

Finally, Laney paid for her food and moved to the side. I stepped up to the register, and again, recieved a big, sweet smile. I tried my best not to look like an idiot as he made small talk, asking if I lived at the college, and how my new classes were going. I noticed that he scanned both my packages of english muffins, then stopped and voided one of them. "I'll just charge you for one of those." He said. He totalled my price, money was exchanged, fingers were grazed against each other, and we said goodbye.

As we left, I couldn't contain myself. "Alright, clearly, Michael is madly in love with me." I announced to Laney.

"I think he is." Laney agreed. "He gave you free english muffins."

"English muffins are the next best gift to diamonds."

"They are." A pause. "Too bad he's married."

"Yeah... What?"

"Didn't you see the ring on his finger? The guy's married."

What. The. Hell!?! I've been flirting with a married man this whole time? And he's been flirting with me! I mean, giving a girl english muffins is clearly an invitation to go with him to the stock room and make out like horny teenagers, right?

And how bad of a person does that make me that I'm a bit flattered by this, and a bit intrigued by the idea of a passionate, adulterous affair? [...]You're right. I know. Bad kitty. [...] But he's really fucking hot!

Manky fucking donkey balls. Things like this can't be good for your karma.

Miss Black

Listening to: "Lover I Don't Have to Love" by Bright Eyes. Apparently, I like to torture myself.

Reading: "How to Be Good" by Nick Hornby. Again, how fucking ironic.

Watching: "S.W.A.T." Oh my, I'd nearly forgotten how damn sexy Colin Farrel is. Hoo!

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Miss Black also contributes to a David Anders/Sark site under the name Chaton Espion. Feel free to visit her there if you'd like to witness the terrifying depths of obsession.